Move, B*tch, Get Out the Way:

The San Francisco concert scene is unlike anywhere else. Combine the intimacy of smaller venues like The Independent and Great American Music Hall with a local appreciation for everything from popular music, hip-hop, and indie to your dog’s remixed recordings through a megaphone, and you’ve got Bay Area concert bonanza. But whether you’re a champion concert-goer or an amateur stoked that your very, very, very little-known favorite band is playing a venue at all, there are some things that we regulars would like for you to avoid doing. Seriously, folks. Just don’t:

Record the whole thing: We get it; you want to remember this. But your extra-tall iPhone 5 screen is blocking my view and distracting everyone from the actual show. Rule of thumb: It’s OK to take a few pictures with your smartphone; it’s not OK to film and/or photograph an entire song, let alone an entire set. The 10 views on your YouTube profile aren’t worth it.

Complain about the opener: All right, so you only got here early for a better view of the headliner. Stop whining. This is your opportunity to grow as a person. And some of us actually want to listen to the show.

Push: Yes, the musician is toward the front. No, I don’t want to let you by; that’s why I’m standing here. Do everyone (and security) a favor, and keep your hands to yourself. If a few feet is really that important to you, then skip the bathroom break.

Sing into my ear: When I know you know the lyrics, you’re doing it wrong. Stop.

Wave your drink in the air: This is not just a bad idea for me, who you’re spilling your drink on, but you, too, since you’re losing valuable alcohol when spill said drink on me. Scream song suggestions: The artist has a set list for a reason. If they want your input, they will, in actuality, ask for it.

So you’re new. That’s cool—we’ve all been there. Here are a few things to remember that will make everyone’s night easier: Get there early. You’ll want to soak up the experience... and find a good spot.

Have your drink in hand before the set. Or be prepared to lose your spot.

Don’t bring things you don’t want to coat-check. I’m not sure what’s worse—holding all your stuff for three hours or paying $5 for someone else to, so pack light.

Don’t change into the concert shirt you bought. It’s tacky, and people will know you’re new. Have fun. Concerts are rarely regrettable (unlike some attendees), so enjoy it... respectfully.



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This article was published in:
Music Issue - Released January 2013
Issue 1 / Version 3 | Buy print copy here
Issue 11
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