Lucy Junus
Saving $99 for a lumpy cushion on wheels will make you pay for your posture sooner or later. The stinky office chair you found on the street doesn’t have a place in your home, so don’t pick it up; you’ll end up leaving it on your sidewalk the next day. Struggling to let go? Just imagine all the random butts that sat on that before you. Yuck!

Are you a gypsy? No? Then stop making rugs out of old quilts your grandma painstakingly stitched for you. Don’t cut them in ruffles and think you made shag carpeting. It’s just not right. Carpeting is not one of those things you should buy/reuse when it’s already a shitty mess (literally, if you found it on the street). Rugs can be expensive, but so are those $5 latte’s you love. Save up for real rugs.
Do you run a massage parlor in your house? Maybe a burlesque show? Whatever your excuse behind picking up that torn Japanese paper room divider, it’s not reason enough to junk up your house with ugly clutter. There’s no practical use for this unless you live in a co-op with a million other people. Grow up.
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You don’t live in a dorm anymore, so it’s time you left that college furniture behind. These fibrous, square-edged tables were not a smart investment when you bought them, and they’re even more useless at a yard sale. Although, if you’re crafty and want to do some decoupage, then you may just be able to make a useful table out of this rectangular sheet with legs. But let’s get real: No one wants to date a person with Ikea’s cheapest junk all over their apartment.

We are all for recycling trash. Liquor bottles, however, do not make acceptable vases. You’re probably preventing clever scientists from reusing that glass and turning it into your next iPhone. If you do choose to recycle bottles, then at least get creative! Paint them, turn them into terrariums, or line an entire wall with them for a backlit glass masterpiece. Otherwise, leave the recycling to the experts.

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This article was published:
Art & Design Issue - Released July 2012
Issue 11 / Version 2 | Buy print copy here
Issue 11
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