Eight Trends SF Champions,
and Eight We Could do Without
By Mark Holland
Illustrations by Jeremy Joven
Until recently, if you wore long sleeves and a Victorian collar you were a virgin or a Mormon tween. But lace you can see through is making a big splash. It's a good way to sex up your look without sharing all your flesh with the Muni passengers. I'm not talking about a camisole from Forever 21 with some lace accents—think more long-sleeves and skirts.
Just when you thought we took everything from American Indians, these Navajo prints are popping up on handbags and jackets everywhere. What may be culturally insensitive is also pretty sharp when done right. This is nothing new, but the urban arena is really just getting on board, and huge turquoise jewelry is surely close behind.
Bear with me on this one. Try to wash the memory of that awkward lesbian redneck that wore the purple pastel, Looney Tunes clad, cut-off overalls with one strap down in the sixth grade. God knows I am. I have seen overalls a few times recently on some gals around town, and remarked to myself that they astonishingly had pulled it off. Think something other than denim, maybe linen or suede, with nicely pleated pockets and narrower straps. Sort of an Annie Hall redux that is tidier and sort of hot.
Classic "ladylike" 60s-inspired.
This one is real easy, but has to be done right. The ladies of Mad Men look great, but they have a lot of help. This look is a lifestyle for a lot of ladies. The hardest part is finding the legit vintage pieces that don't look like someone has been wearing them for the last 50 years. Lots of great solid colors and endless quantities that are real bargains if you're willing to do the legwork.
Let me be the first to say that the quickest way for an average looking man to ramp up his love life is to grow the beard. I'm inclined not to comment on the style, as I appreciate all varieties. The style says something about the wearer. I am inclined to prefer a tidy, but a big wooly beard, and looks good on someone with a certain patina. The beard on a guy who can't really grow one is okay, if kept groomed in some manner.
Big soft spot here. My Mom came back from Ireland with a cable knit number made from wool of the sheep that grazed the lawn of her B&B, and let me tell you, it is the scratchiest fucking thing I have ever worn. Like it or not, we live in a cold city. The only guy that isn't freezing at Dolores Park at 7 p.m. in August is the guy with a sweater that someone knitted. I am not talking about some Mission Thrift Cosby bullshit either. Put a little thought into this one; it's too easy not to.
This is a pair of shoes that a lot of San Franciscans own. They're a great alternative to your smelly old sneakers and they go with just about everything. For guys who "aren't sure" what shoes to buy, these are a safe choice. If you're going to own a pair of Converse and another pair of shoes, please make it this pair.
I'm not talking about some Marina guy with seersuckers embroidered with little flamingos, so stop high fiving across the foosball table. Socks are woefully overlooked, and when you cross your legs in the conference room, we notice your socks. Some threadbare GoldToes doesn't really blow anyone's skirt up, so a little thought here helps. Argyles are a start, and Paul Smith makes some great striped numbers if you can afford them. If socks are the tip of the iceberg for a suitor, three-year-old dingy whites from Champs Sports kind of say, "If I'm lucky enough to fuck you, it will be the worst sex of your life."