Inaccurately Yours | Repurposed News Around Town

Artist Representation of Sutro Sam Hanging out at Crissy Fields.
Photo by Asterisk San Francisco.

The Story of Sutro Sam

Someone dark skinned, hairy, and adorable has been spotted at Sutro Baths. Everyone can’t have enough of him. He’s young, adventurous, and certainly self-sufficient. Not to mention he’s a great swimmer. Meet Sutro Sam, the rare river otter spotted living at the ruins of Sutro Baths. Scientists with degrees suggest he moved from Marin at an age when Otters leave the home.

My take however is undeniably more realistic. Sutro Sam moved to San Francisco for the culture specifically the restaurants and bars.

His parents were probably socialite drunkards frequenting rivers near wineries up in the North Bay and our budding young otter has just had enough. His diet is mostly made up of gold fish, not the cheesy kind, and he enjoys sunbathing whenever the fog rolls off to the pacific.

He’s not shy to parade in the raw for tourists to see him. With a fur like that, can anyone blame him?

The question in all our minds at this moment in this competitive city of attractions… Will Sutro Sam become the next Mark Zuckerberg or the next Bush Man? Only time will tell. By the looks of it, Sutro Sam is more of an otter version of Ryan Gosling. Constantly parading his beautiful facade while remaining irresistible to gushing girls and boys.

Now to the actual news...
Sutro Sam is a River Otter currently residing at Sutro Baths.

Check out the articles about him on:
SF GATE: news link
ABC 7 KGO news link

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